Commenced with one hit I couldn’t believe it

best feeling in my life not ashamed to admit it

 

Freud was right best cure for depression

after the first hit Sigmund charged for his session

 

When the coke disappeared I crashed and burned

I had to have more that’s what I had learned

 

Very quickly I could not live without it

But then out of cash I couldn’t afford it

 

Forty-hour work weeks were not enough

Eighty-hour weeks became too tough

 

Needed coke to work and to stay alive

Moved from my home to a tiny dive

 

Lost forty pounds and got thin as a rail

No job no family and couldn’t make bail

 

Like the ad says Coke is it

There is no end I need another hit

 

Out of work and out of time

Down to my last worthless dime

 

Sigmund was wrong that stupid fuck

Now I’m suicidal and out of luck

 

Peering out the window watching for cops

Paranoid delusions spinning like tops

 

Shaking and starving desperate for more

Listening for footsteps outside my door

 

My phone is tapped the cops have tapes

I’m snorting my carpet for specks of white flakes

 

Calling my dealers begging for a hit

But my pockets are empty got nothing but spit

 

I can’t believe it’s come down to this

I’m as dry as a bone I can’t even piss

 

I’ll never forget when my life was almost over

It was the day I couldn’t get any lower

 

Bolted the garage door, and pushed the ignition

My life will end like a nuclear schism

 

Made a burning plea to the suicide hotline

I’m dying please I’m out of time

 

That was the day I will never forget

The last day of life that’s what you get

 

It’s hard to believe that happened to me

Abandoned  and drowning in the shark-riddled sea

 

I had raised the white flag – it was time to surrender

To be free at last from another coke bender

 

I’m still an addict but recovering now

Those who have been there taught me how

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Copyright © 2021 Richard Karrel

All rights reserved.

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