female, thirty-two, I felt old

naked ring finger no band of gold

 

once before I knew love

walking on clouds high above

 

now very lonely and all alone

married friends with kids at home

 

pressure, hurry, find the right mate

fix ups, coffee, another blind date

 

he'll come along my friends always say

or maybe never plus one day

 

searching for real, most are fake

can't invent love, to change one's fate

 

I met a guy who seems okay

very charming, he knows what to say

 

attractive too, he's got the right stuff

he can be soft, he can be tough

 

but is there a spark, the answer is no

missing the chemistry, the electric flow

 

he's rushing and rushing, coming on strong

I've been there before, like repeating a song

 

flowers and candy the attention is nice

he's been a husband, not once but twice

 

he wants to marry and make a son

I'm feeling smothered, but afraid to run

 

better grab him while I can

not getting younger, the guy's a great man

 

I want the sparks, do I settle for less?

hurry, set a date, buy a wedding dress

 

family vacations, the moon and the stars

no more lady's night, two for one bars

 

he kneeled before me, I said yes

very romantic I must confess

 

plan a big wedding, big cake, gold band

honeymoon, windsurf, virgin white sand

 

three hundred invitations and maybe more

registered at a trendy, upscale store

 

china, silver, crystal chandeliers

reception at his club, champagne, no beers

 

prenuptial dinner they toasted the bride

worried thoughts and afraid to confide

​

the night before, I couldn't sleep

I tossed and turned, I counted sheep

 

white veil, white gown, bloomies' red lips

a perfect fit over taut breasts, curved hips

 

I looked in the mirror, the bride was sad

I quickly looked away, got to be glad

 

I'll do what I have to, too late to be bold

I had my chance to put this on hold

 

big wedding, big money, thirty thousand and change

my life's on auto, too late to rearrange

 

an empty isle, my turn to walk

feelings of terror, an urge to balk

 

the groom was handsome, smiling brilliant and bright

the church all quiet, bathed in sun light

 

a simple “I do” then partners for life

a childhood dream to be a man's wife

 

the feeling was missing, the spark never there

too late to run, it wouldn't be fair

 

he looked at me. I looked at him

walking the plank, I'm out on a limb

 

do you take this man to be your husband?

“No” I cried, I can't, I don't love him

 

dead silence to whispers the church mumbling

from my lips the word 'no' came quickly tumbling

 

the groom bewildered, some faces wept

alone up the isle I retraced each step

 

a moment of hurt to save a life of pain

a perfect wedding, a perfect shame

 

maybe someday fireworks will be there

or maybe my ring finger remains naked and bare

​

​

Copyright © 2021 Richard Karrel

All rights reserved.

​